Negotiating while Female: Myths and Tips
“Women don’t negotiate” is one explanation given for the gendered salary gap. But this belief is a myth. For at least the past two decades, researchers Laura J. Kray, Jessica A. Kennedy, and Margaret Lee have found, “women negotiate for a higher salary more, not less, often than men….[O]ur data show women were paid significantly less, not more, than men, despite their attempts to negotiate.”
Blaming any part of the pay gap on women’s failure to negotiate is not only erroneous, it also inappropriately justifies the existing gender hierarchy. This can result in reduced support for policies that try to mitigate pay inequities, the researchers found.
Harris & Lewis, 1921 or 1922 (Library of Congress)
Because of societal expectations and stereotypes about assertiveness, women walk a tightrope when advocating for themselves. For example, a woman negotiating a salary might be perceived as aggressive and unlikable when the same behavior in a man would be considered assertive and acceptable. Since the backlash against assertive women can be unconscious, it is difficult to correct for behaviorally and can contribute to why women are less successful in their salary negotiations than men. Establishing standardized, transparent salary policies such as pay bands can help offset this implicit bias, Kim Elsesser writes in Forbes.
Requiring applicants to disclose their current salaries can carry salary inequities forward into new negotiations. To mitigate this, 21 states have enacted some form of salary history bans. Some of the states with salary history bans still allow employers to require applicants to state an acceptable salary range, information that may also allow inequities to persist. Of course, employers can institute salary history bans whether required to or not.
Researchers Kray and Kennedy argue that women bring strengths to negotiations. They suggest that women are considered weak negotiators owing to a flawed concept of negotiation: That it is a one-time event culminating in a financial deal, rather than a long-term relationship with the goal of building relational capital. “The ability to maintain long-term relationships and solve problems collaboratively, which are just two skills that women exhibit with mastery, matters a lot in business and in life.”
“Best practices in negotiation suggest dong two things to be more persuasive and build relationships,” Katheryn Valentine and Hannah Riley Bowles write in the Harvard Business Review (HBR). “First, explain why your proposal request is appropriate and justified. Second, share why your proposal serves the interest of both parties.”
“Successful negotiation starts with managing your own emotions. But that’s where your self-focus should stop,” Scott Walker writes in HBR. A former kidnapping and extortion negotiator, Walker now applies his skills as an executive coach. “The rest is all about your counterparts. Listen well and show them that you’re doing so. That’s how you build trust and find mutually agreeable solutions.”
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